I Choked on These Pomegranate Seeds (Midnight Sun Review)

It has taken me two years, but I have finally finished Midnight Sun. And, no, that’s not an exaggeration. I’ve been reading this book for two years. It’s been sitting on (in?) my Kindle library taunting me with the like 10% read it was on three weeks ago. That is a truth, not my usual dramatics. Well, nearly two years. Midnight Sun was released August 4th, 2020, so mid-pandemic. It is now July 2022, so yeah, two years next month.

When Stephenie Meyer suddenly announced in May of 2020 that she was releasing Midnight Sun, Twitter totally blew up. Everything blew up, really. I mean, it was like it was we were back in the 2000s with another Stephenie Meyer book.

17 Hilarious Tweets About Stephenie Meyer Releasing “Midnight Sun”

Vampires were suddenly cool again. (Mind you, they had never stopped being cool. Even if Twilight had nearly destroyed the vampire’s reputation. I love vampires. One of my goals in life is to read every single vampire book every written. Will I succeed? No idea, but it’s a nice goal.) Now, you may not know this but Meyer actually had the first like 12 or so chapters of Midnight Sun on her website. I’ve read those unedited pages (trust me, it took all of me to resist the urge to edit the grammar errors and the typos, hello, I’m a writing major). After the entire book was leaked, she decided not to publish. I can’t blame her there. I’d be salty too if my book got leaked. But I guess with all the shit happening in 202o, she thought to herself, “Now is the time for Midnight Sun.” The point is, it’s taken me this long to finish this book.

There are several reasons for that.

I’m not a slow reader, I’m not. I devoured the hell out of Carrie. I read fast, especially if I like the book. The more I like it, the faster I read. Which is why it took me so damn long to read Midnight Sun.

Now you might be asking yourself: Keely, why finish a book that you clearly don’t like? Well, because I’m a determined little shit and I wasn’t going to let this damn book beat me. That’s why. Also, I recently bought Salem’s Lot and couldn’t start a new book when I hadn’t finished the one on my Kindle yet. It’s a thing. So, today, we are going to talk about Midnight Sun.

19 Of The Funniest Tweets About “Midnight Sun” That Even Rosalie Would Laugh At

Stephenie Meyer’s “Midnight Sun” Is Here And So Are The Memes

Let’s get this show on the road.

“My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?”

-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun

Here’s the thing about the Twilight saga, you either love it, or you love to hate it. Everyone had their Twilight phase. Everyone. You can deny it all you want, but you (probably) had a Twilight phase. Now I, like stated in previous blog posts, read Twilight because peer pressure. I didn’t like the book, but I faked it because all my friends were into it and I thought I had to be into it as well. Once the other books came out, I couldn’t not read it. I couldn’t leave the series unfinished. again, it’s a thing. So yes, I’ve read all the Twilight books, even Life & Death: Twilight Reimagined, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.

Now, here’s the thing, I thought reading Twilight was bad. I was so wrong. Midnight Sun was worse. Not only was it 658 pages of the same exact story, but it was 658 pages of Edward being an emo angsty oh-my-god I’m such an evil vampire and like I can’t even with this. That’s what made it so hard to read. The angst was awful. Okay, just awful. I like me some angst, don’t get me wrong. Hello, half of the fanfictions I read are just angst with some hurt/comfort thrown in and well, smut. (Don’t judge me.) Midnight Sun however, took the angst to another level. The sheer just, I hate my very existence in this novel? It was hard to swallow. Incredibly hard. And it’s not like it was broken up with like action or something other than angst.

No.

It was angst.

Angst.

ANGST.

Every single word, every single line, every single page. The entire damn book. A pile of angst. *shudders* It was a mess.

I can’t even with this bullshit. Jeez. How much angst can one person have? Mind you this person is a 100 year old repressed vampire in the body of a horny seventeen year old boy, so yeah. I guess that checks out. I guess. Maybe.

Edward seeing Bella for the first time. Totally sexy.

We already know the story. It’s not like we really learned anything new in this novel. I mean you kind of did. . .but didn’t at the same time? It was weird. How can you learn nothing and everything at the same? I don’t know. Ask Meyer.

The parts I liked were when we got more insight into Edward. His “rebel” years as he called it. He hunted the scum of the earth, murderers, rapists, the like, and he killed them. He was like a vigilante, cleaning up the bad guys one city (which is a bit hilarious when you think about the fact that Robert Pattinson is now Batman) at a time. Honestly, if this book was 658 pages of Edward’s rebel years, that would’ve been so much better.

Maybe.

I mean, he would probably swing between serial-killer-vampire-blood-good and then back to emo-angst-monster-blood-bad. But I’d take him killing the scum of the earth over him fawning over Bella and being all “I hate my very existence” and “I am a monster.” Sure Edward’s rebellious stage was only five years long before the guilt got to him, but it would’ve been better than a retelling of Twilight. Just saying, Meyer. Missed opportunity there.

“Though I hated her, I was absolutely aware that my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I would hate us both so much more when she was dead.”

-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun

The funny thing is, we actually learn more about Bella in Midnight Sun that we do in her book Twilight. Even then, it’s still, well, she’s still bland. Edward sprouts on and on about how she’s not like other girls. Newsflash, Eddie, Bella is like the others.

Which makes me wonder. If Edward could read her mind, would he be as interested in her? Or would he ignore her? Just food for thought. Like her blood calls him, yeah, but he can ignore that. If he could read her mind and see that she was just as shallow and bland like the other teenage girls, would he even be interested? I mean, that’s the only reason why he was so interested in her in the first place. You know, besides the whole I-want-to-drain-you-dry-like-a-Caprisun thing. Bella is boring. Okay, she’s boring. She’s like a sixty year old woman in a seventeen year old’s body. She’s bland and boring. She’s oatmeal. She’s got about as much personality as a rock. But if you want to read more about my thoughts on Bella Swan, see here.

The point is, he was only interested in the first place because he couldn’t read her mind, and it’s very clear in Midnight Sun that that was the reason. Just saying.

Edward and Bella in biology.

Also, we should give Robert Pattinson a break. He read the assignment and he understood it. Yes, Edward really was that awkward and dorky. He’s like “keep it light” and yeah, he doesn’t. To Bella he comes off as you know, cute and charming but meanwhile us readers are like “???” and like “Bro, creepy.” He even says that her coming into her room at night is stalkery! Like, way to be meta, Meyer. Your own character admitted it was creepy. What the hell.

Edward is an eternal seventeen year old man-child who has no idea how to interact with a girl he’s attracted too. My god, he can barely say the word sex, let alone think it. In Twilight, Bella thinks he’s all suave and like, he’s totally not.

Sorry, Eddie. You’re not. You’re a dork. You have no idea what the word “light” means. You should Google the definition. You are the opposite of light.

Also how can he be so unaware and aware at the same time? He doesn’t know what those lustful feelings are? Eddie, darling, that would be a boner. You live with Rosalie and Emmett for Christ’s sake, shouldn’t you be aware of you know, physical attraction? At all? No? Not to mention, you are a telepath and go to high school! Does no one recall that one scene in the restaurant? Where Bella asks what people are thinking. And Edward is like “Sex, money, sex. . . .cat.” No? It was great and horrible all at once.

The point is, how can he be so oblivious? How can Bella be so oblivious ? It’s a bit ridiculous. Yes, yes, I know this is a young adult fiction. I know the whole YA is pretty much based on being utterly ridiculous but this is taking it a bit far. It’s a stretch. To have two characters who are so oblivious to physical attraction and having a crush. It’s just. . .wow. I can’t get these minutes spent reading this book.

Back on track.

So we find out a bit more about Eddie’s “Rebel Years.” We find out that Bella is still as bland as oatmeal. She reads a lot, basically raised herself, has no goals for her future, etc. You know, the stuff we kind of already knew. More than kind of.

Edward basically spouts how amazing she is, how selfless, how he taints her with his presence and y’all, I thought Bella’s utter simping over Edward was bad, but she ain’t got shit on Edward. Seriously. It’s so much. Bella can do no wrong. She is on this pedestal. She’s better than all the other teenage girls.

“There was a bit of Jane Eyre in her, a portion of Scout Finch and Jo March, a measure of Elinor Dashwood, and Lucy Pevensie.”

-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun

I don’t know what world Edward lives in but I would never compare Bella Swan to Jo March. Jo was my favorite March sister. Just, what, Edward? Smh.

I also find it funny how both of them are like “I’m not good enough for her/him.” It’s ridiculous.

I feel like I’ve said that word a lot in this, and like I need a different word. (Apparently I’m channeling my inner Valley Girl today, sorry.)

This book is basically 658 pages of mostly angst “I am a monster,” with some “She’s the most perfect woman” thrown in and a dash of something interesting. Not even a dash. A sprinkle. A single sprinkle. That might be a bit harsh but oh well. Read it and weep, y’all.

“For the first time in a hundred years, I was grateful to be what I was. Every aspect of being a vampire – all but the danger to her – was suddenly acceptable to me, because it was what had let me live long enough to find Bella.”

-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun

I think I might have vomited in my mouth a little.

Basically, I wasted my life reading this entire book and I should’ve just read this post on Buzzfeed to save myself some time.

I Read Stephenie Meyer’s “Midnight Sun” So You Don’t Have To

I think I enjoyed reading Life & Death: Twilight Reimagined more than this. You know, the gender-bent version of Twilight. And it was just as blah. At least it was less angsty. Beau Swan was a lot more tolerable than Bella Swan. Maybe because he had more of a personality? I mean, barely, but Beau still had more of a personality than Bella, I felt. Barely. A smidgen. I think honestly the whole gender-bent thing was a bit lazy and done only for money. It was the same story just gender bent. Though it did end differently with Beau becoming a vampire and the Cullens having to leave Forks because the treaty was broken. Something like that. I felt bad for Charlie. (Charlie and Renee were the ones not gender-bent.) I liked how that ended. But yeah, Midnight Sun, eh. I should’ve left it unread in my Kindle library. Oh well.

Here are my random thoughts about Midnight Sun, in no particular order.

  • The whole Hades and Persephone, pomegranate thing got really contrived. Seriously. I swear Edward mentioned it so many times. In every chapter, in every page. We get it, you’re Hades and she’s Persephone. You gave Bella the seeds, just, shut up about it already. We get it. It got annoying after the third time it was mentioned. It didn’t need to be in every. single. moment. It could have been a lot more subtle. But I guess Edward doesn’t know what “subtle” means.

“Suddenly, as she ate, a strange comparison entered my head. For just a second I saw Persephone, pomegranate in hand. Dooming herself to the underworld. Is that who I was? Hades himself, coveting springtime, stealing it, condemning it to endless night. I tried unsuccessfully to shake the impression.”

-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun
  • An entire chapter dedicated to him writing her lullaby. Are you fucking shitting me? I can’t even. That was so cringeworthy. Just wow. Of all the things to dedicate a chapter too, you chose that? Why not more on his rebel years? I’d be so down for that. But no. Lullaby. *eyeroll*
  • Edward being jealous of Mike Newton was hilarious.
  • Edward is pretty judgy. Which I guess makes sense. he can read minds so he’s got a better idea of what a person is like, but still. He wasn’t exactly fair to Jessica or Mike or Renee.
  • Edward states a vampire is meant to draw in their prey, hence the beautiful features, but at the same time he doesn’t understand why Bella loses her train of thought? Of why Jessica does? Ms. Cope? Come on, dude. You said it yourself! Smh. He’s a dummy.
  • I was very disappointed to see that they once again glossed over Alice’s story. Like we know James saw her and wanted her but he was prevented by an older vampire who felt bad for Alice at the asylum. But like, it’s so vague? I need more detail than this.
  • We found out a lot sooner about the Volturi and Jasper’s backstory. Also, exactly how powerful Jasper’s power is (weird sentence, whatever) like basically making James think that Jasper (who is probably the most dangerous Cullen, imo) seem not dangerous. How Jasper made Bella feel or seem like a vampire just by projecting those feelings. They really underplayed his abilities. A lot.
  • The whole long ass vision of Alice and how she was going to cover up the whole thing with James and why Bella’s hurt was exhausting. I didn’t really know it was a vision at first, then it just got convoluted. It felt totally unnecessary. Like skip the vision and go to after? Why that long thing?
  • Emmett flings a car into traffic. HA. Also, cars are stolen and a woman is drugged to steal said car and that whole part where they’re trying to get to Bella and the before of that where they are chasing James is interesting. If not drawn out too much. It needed a lot more action. Like fighting.
  • The fact that way before Bella got hurt by James, Edward was planning on leaving her is very telling and sets up New Moon. (Please, Meyer, for the love of all that’s holy. . . .WE DO NOT NEED NEW MOON IN HIS PERSPECTIVE. God please. Never. That’d be awful.)

Those are my thoughts on Midnight Sun. I can’t believe I finished it. Now to begin Salem’s Lot by Stephen King. I know he won’t let me down. I’m reading all of Stephen king’s books, going in publication date order. So Carrie was first. Though I really need a good vampire book so maybe I’ll read Lestat by Anne Rice. I’m not saying all vampires are sex, drugs, blood and rock n’roll. . .Okay, I am saying that. I need some of those vampires. Especially after this disappointment.

What’s your favorite vampire book? Tell me in the comments!

-K

2 thoughts on “I Choked on These Pomegranate Seeds (Midnight Sun Review)

  1. Keely, you just saved me several hours on this one. In the past, I felt I might circle back to reading Midnight Sun…but never got interested enough to do so. While I did not read any of the Twilight books, I did see all of the subsequent movies in the theatre. When they pop-up on TV channels, I will put on the first film as well as the final two chapters. I don’t know if the books played out that way where most of the intrigue (after the world-building and newness of the first book) was saved until the very, very end of the book series, but yes…many of us did have a Twilight phase. All the best for your “visit” to Salem’s Lot.

    Like

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